hannah

Languid

2012-02-04T23:16:00.001-08:00

Back to where i first became addicted to the internet. BLOGGER.

well, i guess other than reading Xiaxue's blog there isn't really anything other blogs that are particularly interesting. Xiaxue sure has her work cut out for her. in fact almost everyone has moved on to tumblr which is saddening because i don't see the joy in tumblr. oh well. anyhow, the purpose for me blogging after a century is because i believe i accumulated enough frustrations to vent out on the internet. isn't that what i always do? HAHA, i sure have an "emotional blog"

so my ballet exams are round the corner and yes, i've been training really hard. however, i had to be the luckiest person in the world for injuring my knee last week. why now? gosh. i'll still have to train but i won't be able to developpe very well now. damn, i don't event thing i can do grand jetes.

next, EXAMS, SCHOOL EXAMS, PLUS A SHITLOAD OF HOMEWORK. i wonder how long i can keep up. i really wan't to do well but my body has a limit to how much it can do. my brain want to push on but my body refuses to move.

damn, okay, gotta go out. ttyl in about a month time?

if only there would be a time where you would declare to me that you love me.

2011-12-25T09:07:00.000-08:00

So about time i did another post! Wanted to post all the pictures that i took but i'm blogging with my mother's phone so it's kinda inconvenient. Had a wonderful christmas this year and i happy to share a small moment of it with my lovely babes;) the food was pretty good although we still have a lot of untouched beef in the freezer because my dad ordered a serving for an elephant. The turkey was almost gone though:) there wasn't really much to do because usually everyone gets wasted during christmas but my parents wouldn't allow that to happen to my friends cuz we're underage. But my sister got so fucking wasted and she was making a fool out if herself. See kids, that's why drinking is bad. You become an idiot. I'm dead beat right now, shall hit the sack. Goodnight!

2011-09-07T06:25:00.000-07:00

Holding me close, as if it would cure our problems
But the chaos still exists...
I throw out my hands, half in insanity the other helplessness
You hold me closer and for a moment i give in completely
Slowly we begin to dance our emotions entangled
More chaos, i beg you to keep me, love me
Only to be thrown again into this world of chaotic wonder..
I want to hold you in my arms, protect you from your past
You enveloped me once again, in arms that i feel could conquer the world
And again we dance like we have never danced before..
i revel in the glory of the new found "us"
But it is short lived, for as you reached your hands out to touch the past
I pull your hands close, to salvage what i can
One last attempt, i give you all i can
I enveloped you with my love
But it isn't enough, it's never been enough...

read it and thought i'd share it, it's really sad if you watch it together with the dance piece. One of the best choreography by Mia Michaels :)

2011-09-04T03:02:00.000-07:00

Just some overly old random pics:)

2011-09-01T03:33:00.000-07:00

my face is super duper red and it's freaking burning! even training doesn't do this to me! but i still had lots of fun playing at east coast park today :) for some reason i can never serve the volleyball straight or hit it straight, or do anything with it straight-.- well, i guess it;s just not my forte.:)

went home together with Tissany and Sarah and i couldn't seem to find any bus stop. so we walked so super long under the scorching sun and miraculously found a bus stop :) we had totally to idea where we were walking. i have poor sense of direction ya see. :D there was never a time where i could find my way home from east coast park. it's so confusing! i'm so tired now~ and i haven't done my physics and chem :/ thats all for now i guess :D

xoxo

2011-08-31T04:58:00.000-07:00

oh gosh how i envy you guys.

i've been so caught up with my hectic life i haven't been writing or blogging much. well i guess it has always been like that :) i was pretty cool with my results but of course, not satisfied. the weather has been quite a bitch lately i must say. it's either just raining cats and dogs, or it's sweltering hot. have been browsing random blogs, looking at what people are going through in their lives and i guess most of them have fallen out of love. but at least you've been in it and have experience the joy that you thought would never have ever ended. you know what it feels like to be loved. and that's something special that you should keep in your memory so don't try to forget it. there are so many things that i wish to open up and pour it out. but that's just not possible. paper's more trustworthy than people. but right now my brain just feel like exploding. physics is due on friday and its insane because there are like 50 questions to do and i only started on 1. God, help me get through this.

2011-07-21T07:01:00.000-07:00

MAYBE IF I WASN'T IN IT.

maybe if i wasn't in it, i'd be excelling in everything i do. maybe if i wasn't in it, i wouldn't be in such a screwed up situation now. everyone said it was my biggest mistake to be part of it and i'm getting quite convinced. maybe i wouldn't be so tired everyday, and i would have motivation to study. some may think they're just excuses but what if it did work for me? what if, without it, i would become a way better person? then won't it be worth it? i really have to make decisions now. do i want it? or do i not? should i take the risk?

2011-07-08T05:47:00.000-07:00

FEAR.

it's something that torments me every single day. the fear of demons, the fear of hurt and the fear of losing someone that i extremely love and never ever wish to let go. i go to sleep at wee hours every single night because my mind is never at rest. it's constantly thinking and imagining things that what some might say "impossible things that will never happen." i fear the lost of my beloved friends because they mean so much to me. i do my best to appreciate them in every aspect of life. i don't want to lose anybody.

2011-06-13T03:08:00.000-07:00

HELLO !
everyone has been doing confessions and "things you don't know about me" blog entries or Facebook wall spams and i think it's pretty cool. but i don't really think i have any confessions 0.0 there's nothing much my friends don't know about me :)

so here are somethings that maybe some of you don't know :)

1. i don't want to get married. LOL

2. I love navy blue, turquoise and brown:)

3. i don't really care about insults. 100% confident :)

4. i feel fat when i eat cheese.

5. i love to paint.

6. i love to shop on my own and i don't try on the clothes. i grab and go.

7. i can be a serious bitch at times but WHATEVER.

8. i don't like relationships.

9. god is the most important person to me in my life, followed by my mom :D

10. i hate my thighs.

11. i'm way closer to my mother's side of the family.

12. i can't eat chilli, i'll die.

13. i have to read the bible everyday. i feel guilty if i don't.

14. i don't dare to be in a room alone be it morning or night.

15. super scared of ghost and demons.

16. i try to sleep with my mom everynight cuz i can't sleep alone.

17. i'm stupid cuz i still watch horror movies.

18. if you rub really hard at my neck area,i automatically get paralyzed. it's true.

19. i love my pop corn sweet:)

20. i don't think before i say things and i might hurt people without knowing. so SORRY in advanced to everything. LOL

i think that's about it , LOL.

XO

2011-06-06T01:27:00.000-07:00

gosh, i can't wait for breaking dawn! the trailer looks freaking awesome! recently caught the movie pirates of the caribbean: stranger tides and i must say it is one of the best so far. the mermaids are just gorgeous beauties which makes me feel so inferior of myself. LOL. dammit, i feel like some ugly shit. anyway i think it was last month when i bought a floral romper from forever 21 and it was one or my favorites in my closet. well maybe it's because it was still new and i've never worn it before which was why i was so drawn to it. my sister begged me to lent it to her and promised she wouldn't ruin it. i passed it to her reluctantly and who knew? she burnt a hole in it. gosh, i freaking hate myself right now. LOL. i won't be lending her anything too soon. i hope forever 21 still has it cuz i'm really going to hate her if i can't find it. :( oh well. i'll move on about it . HAHA.

i had tuition for 4 hours in the morning, felt quite awesome :D i really need to do science! need TO STUDY. lol, i always say it but it always ends up as empty talk. crossing my fingers on this one! :)

★fuck:)

2011-05-09T00:44:00.000-07:00

i know it's a little late but i just felt like doing a post on how blessed i am to have such a wonderful mother. my mom is someone who definitely loves me more than anyone else, someone who thinks really highly of me( although it could be bad at times) and someone whom i can turn to when i have problems. unlike most mothers i find, (not to offend anyone, its just who i feel) i find her definitely more open minded than any other mother, and she's really direct about everything she says. she's not just a mother, but a good friend and a listening ear. and of course, she's someone that would never betray me so i can tell her as many shit as i want:D despite her tiring day at work, she greets me with a beautiful smile when i come home from school. and i can't really tell lies to her because she can always tell when i'm lying to her.she gives me the freedom i need but at the same time persuades me to study. unlike every other blog post though, my mom is not exactly a role model, but she's my pillar of support. and i too, want to become a mother like her. ( apart from the nagging) and i love her because she laughs at the smallest things which makes me really happy :D so thank you mommy for being there for me all the time, and being funny just to cheer me up :D YOU'RE SO COOL.\m/ i think i got my directness from my mom :D YAY

2011-05-08T00:40:00.000-07:00

HAHA, it's funny how i'm blogging at one of the busiest time of my life as a student. i have cleared my english, chinese and social studies paper. i'm really really disappointed with my social studies because i totally screwed it up, even passing might be a challenge. i spent to much time on structured essay questions, i forgot about the consequences in Sri Lanka and only wrote 2 points for that section which leaves me at a 6 mark maximum out of 13. and because i spent too much time on my SEQ, i neglected my source based questions and gave stupid and irrelevant inference for all the questions. and yes, i'm prepared to fail it. it all depends on my history if i want to pass combined humanities. ugh, humanities are suppose to be my forte. EXTREMELY DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF. but i'll just word harder for EOY. i'll do well for that as i promised my mom that i will do well. i'll work harder. and i've decided to become regular in youth church. i haven't been to youth church for a really long time and i must say i've become spiritually dry.

Tell me why you're so hard to forget
Don't remind me, i'm not over it
Tell me why i can't seem to face the truth
I'm just a little too not over you.

2011-05-02T00:02:00.000-07:00

So, mid year examinations are round the corner and it's been really tough trying to keep up. I'm doing whatever i can, within the limited amount of time i have. But i do have a short concentration span so yes, major breaks are important to me. Many people have this misconception that the best class in the class with the most pure sciences but that's not necessarily true. At the end of the day, it really boils down to what you aspire to become in the future and to those who don't think so much about the future, it's about doing something you really really like. i myself am not really sure whether or not i have made the right decision. Chemistry and physics were not exactly my forte when i was in lower secondary but my humanities. Humanities were the only subjects that were worth comparing with my friends, worth it of being acknowledged by my parents and myself. And i never really thought of myself as a science person. However, being in a school with my cohort population being as low as 100~, it was impossible for me to go into pure humanities. Not many students in my school preferred humanities to sciences as well so i couldn't even voice out my opinion or state my stance as there were't anybody standing on the same side as me. Oh my, i just realize i was kind of a lonerise bitch.so at the end of the day i took double pure and

BAMM

CHEMISTRY------------------------------------------------------------------------------------C6

PHYSICS---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------C6

FUCK MY LIFE

2011-04-07T20:39:00.001-07:00

the thing i call LOVE

just a touching story i read online:

A good reminder: "Take time to appreciate what you have now." --Dont miss reading this one

On the last day before Christmas, I hurried to go to the supermarket to buy the
remaining of the gift I didn't manage to buy earlier.

When I saw all the people there, I started to complain tomyself,"It is going to take forever here and I still have so many other places to go.
Christmas really is getting more and more annoying every year.How I wish I could just lie down, go to sleep and only wake up after it..."

Nonetheless, I made my way to the toy section, and there I started to curse the prices, wondering if after all kids really pla ywith such expensive toys.

While looking in the toy section, I noticed a small boy of about 5 years old, pressing a doll against his chest. He kept on touching the hair of the doll and looked so sad. I wondered who was this doll for. Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him, "Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?"

The old lady replied, "You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear."

Then she asked him to stay here for 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I started to walk toward him and I asked him who did he want to give this doll to.
"It is the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for this Christmas. She was so sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that may be Santa Claus will bring it to her, after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly.

"No, Santa Claus can not bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mother so that she can give it to her when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this.

"My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mummy will also go to see God very soon, so I thought that she could bring the doll with her to give it to my sister."

My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said, "I told daddy to tell mummy not to go yet. I asked him to wait until I come back from the supermarket.

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me, "I also want mummy to take this photo with her so that she will not forget me."

I love my mummy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.I quickly reached
for my wallet and took a few notes and said to the boy, "What if we checked
again, just in case if you have enough money?"

"Ok," he said. "I hope that I have enough."

I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it.
There was enough for the doll, and even some spare money.

The little boy said, "Thank you God for giving me enough money."

Then he looked at me and added,
"I asked yesterday before I slept for God to
make sure I have enough money to buy this doll so that mummy can give it to my sister. He heard me."
"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mummy, but I didn't dare to ask God too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and the white rose."

"You know, my mummy loves white rose."

A few minutes later, the old lady came again and I left with my trolley. I
finished my shopping in a totally
different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my
mind.

Then I remembered a local newspaper article 2 days ago, which mentioned of a drunk man in a truck who hit a car where there was one young lady and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-assisting machine, because the young lady would not be able to get out of the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young lady had passed away.I couldn't stop myself and went to buy a bunch of white roses and I went to the mortuary where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wish before burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rosein her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place crying, feeling that my life had been changed forever. The love that this little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to that day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk man had taken all this away from him

---------------------------------------------END---------------------------------------------------

2011-04-07T19:13:00.000-07:00

you can say that i'm paranoid, but i'm someone who always thinks ahead and what are the things that may happen in school if i'm not careful with who i trust. i mean, even to the people whom you hate, you don't actually go up to them and tell them to fuck off. i fact, you put a fake front and pretend as though nothing's wrong.so similarly, i'm always thinking whether the people around me are truly trustworthy people, or are they just a bunch of fakers that may backstab me anytime. to put it short, i'm just really unsure of the people around me. one moment they would volunteer to be your listening ear, the next minute you see them laughing behind your back to someone else. and you can roughly tell what they are talking about because you don't actually talk to your "listening ear" until he wants to dig out some personal information about you and share it with the world. well, it has happen to me before and i must say that i can be quite a revengeful person. i'm someone who doesn't just lay back and let it go after being backstabbed or bullied. i usually make sure that the same thing happens to them. but now, i try my best ( still trying) to stop all these nonsense and just let the past go. although my blood still boiled a little when i meet these people, i'll tell myself to chill, and put on a smile. i communicate with them, and i try to think happy thoughts.i constantly tell myself that i would be no different if i were to do the same. and i think we should feel honored that your friends actually trust you so much that they are actually willing to tell you more about their personal life, and being assured as they know you are going to keep it for them. so i've kinda gotten clear about my stand but the thing is that i've become scared. my friends, i don't know which is the genuine friend and which are the bitches. there's always a " think twice" in my head when i'm telling my secrets to someone. because i find that at the end of the day, it's really not a secret anymore. it leaks out in one way or another.

i wish there was a level of assurance>

2011-04-04T03:51:00.000-07:00

hmm, i doubt anyone still reads this blog anymore but oh well, i'll still update it. i'm such a dead blogger!
sometimes i really wonder whether i should pour out all my feelings to a blog, tell people how i really feel or maybe bitch about someone. so i'm not really sure what's the purpose of my blog because even if i really wanted to share how i really feel about things onto my blog, there's the slight hesitant feeling all the time. i mean after all, i'm bound to offend somebody through the process. people think bitching about someone online is cowardly but i feel that if your blog is like a diary to you, then i don't see why can't you do it. (don't mention the name of course) HAHA. i personally do bitch about people sometimes and yes, it's mean. HAHA.

anyways, i really want to know how do you tell when its just infatuation or real love. when you get to know some awesome guy, naturally you'll be attracted to him, then you will go from heavy texting to regular meeting then ? does dating come? does it really happen that fast? how can one be so sure that it's real love immediately? i don't get any of this stuff at all. does real love also means having the longest most lasting relationship? does that make you a better couple? LOL.

I REALLY DON'T KNOW. SOMEONE ENLIGHTEN ME.

\m/

2011-03-15T21:17:00.000-07:00

impressive (:

to all those who felt like crap because of the nationals. eg, not being able to play or didn't make it to national top4 or champion depending on what you were aiming for, IT'S OKAY.

i know this feelings feels damn sucky and the amount of tears everyone has shed is enough to put out a fire. but i feel that it's sort of a wake up call for my team. Not everyone was committed to training and even if we were, not all of us were putting all of our mind and soul into training. Well, there were those who did, but 1 or 2 isn't enough. Softball is a team game so at least 9 players will have to feel the motivation and determination to win the championship. i believe being unable to reach the top4 this year, HOPEFULLY, will enable everyone to strive for the better, come for training AS A TEAM, work hard AS A TEAM and of course eventually WIN AS A TEAM. YAY T_T

Plus, we will all be sec 4s next year which means we will have the upper hand as we have an additional 365 days to improve our softball. so if we don't make it next year, it's going to be awfully retarded. the schools we faced this year were all made up of sec 4s so you can say its sort of a plus point for them. so, NEXT YEAR, we are going to be on parr with the sec 4s :D AWESOMENESS.

SO…. YAY :D

LETS WIN NEXT YEAR.
OWN SOME ASSES :D

PCS FTW

Clueless.

2011-02-25T04:30:00.000-08:00

Now i'm really unsure what to think. I have never really acknowledge it but I go with the assumptions that my friends make. Whether it's true or not, I really don't know. Maybe it's because i've never really thought about it, or i just didn't care. But one think's for sure is that its always on my mind. It affects me daily. And I feel so stupid because it's just me.

Everyday.

But I don't wish bring it a step further myself.

I don't want to be tied down.

I really don't know what to do right now.

Some things are just impossible to forget.

2010-12-26T07:49:00.000-08:00

wow, it really has been ages. i just thought it will be cool to update my blog after christmas:) HAHA. SO COOL.

i'm such a laggerrrrr . everyone is probably tumblr-ing and i'm still, well, BLOGGING. HAHAHA whatever. so , on the 24th i went to my aunt laura's house for christmas this year:) but somehow i'm wasn't really into the whole christmas thing. it didn't feel like a celebration for some reason. but oh well, i still got my presents, ate turkey and all the other meaty food played with party poppers, had a smores area:) BUTTTTTTTTTTTT. IT RAINED. T.T so , minus the smores T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T..T.T.T..T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T

YEA.

that practically ruined my whole day.

i'm such a pitiful person.

well today was great too:)

my cousin gave birth to a beautiful baby girl , michaela amy:)

so everyone had to go to the hospital. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

but we still celebrated christmas of course.

today's log cake tasted so much better than yesterday's.

it was wayyyy cuter too :O

HAHA.

going to buy my books tomorrow, hope it won't be too heavy. after all, i doubt my new school bag can handle many books. REGRET BUYING.

shall go and count sheeps now:)

nite nite <3

2010-11-21T18:54:00.000-08:00

so, hmm, well,

nothing much has happened really.

holiday has just been ... worst than i expected.
i didn't know i could be bored to this extend, but whatever. so i thought blogging would help entertain myself. afterall, it's not everyday my computer is working:) thought of getting a holiday job but it would just be in the way when i have softball training. and as for movies, i don't have any movie dates so i didn't watch any T.T

but i still wanna watch my harry potter :D so i'm kinda stuck at home with my brother, i want to bring him out with me but at the same time i'm afraid he would get lost/kidnapped/fall/choke/fall/fall/fall. yea, he's careless. and if he does fall, who shoulders the reaponsibility? ME.

well, he is a ball, right?

so, i'll just rott. HAHAHAHA.

byebye ^^

2010-10-15T02:47:00.000-07:00

I HATE YOU.
I HATE YOU.
I HATE YOU.
I HATE YOU.

i have never bear so much grudge on someone before mainly because i have never met anyone like YOU in my entire life. the dumb thing is that you always think you are right, and refuses to even attempt to put youself in someone elses shoes. you don't take into account how they actually feel. you claim that people critisize you all the time, but have you ever thought why exactly are they doing that? has it ever occured to you mind that you have hurt them emotionaly or even due to betrayal? you only think about youself. you have hurt people before and people has ignored that fact because you mouth is to fucked up to be controlled. however, there is a limit to everything. there is a time where everyone is unable to stand your nonsense. and that's when the"bullying" comes in. even if you ever tried reflecting on your actions, it wouldn't work because you always think your right. you are a person who degrades yourself all the time. and i have almost reach my limit. i am about to blow up. my blood boils whenever i see your face. you are willing to sacrifice long friendships with all your friends for a merely two month relationship. there is a reason for everything. people don't insult just because they feel like it. it is to get back at you for all the fucked up things you have done. i believe it is my turn to get back at you. i will not use violence as it is not enough. i believe the words that come out of my mouth can be more horrifying and humiliating to you. I WILL HUMILIATE YOU INFRONT OF EVERYONE WHOM YOU DO NOT WISH TO BE HUMILIATED INFRONT OF.

I WILL.

JUST WAIT.

FUCKED UP PIECE OF CRAP.

2010-08-07T04:27:00.000-07:00

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. YOU GUYS WATCHED THE AIRBENDER WITHOUT MEEEEEEEEEEEEE.oh well. HAHA. so i guess i would probably have to watch it with my sister or some other friend. if i had known, i would have followed all of you to ang mo kio hub. anyway it was the most uber boring day today. basically because i didn't do ANYTHING other than having my butt glued to the chair along with a laptop on my lap. i was so bored that i didn't even feel like peeing. well as yu can see i am finally blogging after about a week? maybe less? because my dad doesn't really allow me to use the computer as often as i would want to. some of you might ask me to ask my mom but after spending 14 years of my life with my parents, i have drawn one conclusion. if says no, don't bother asking mom. well my mom is stricter as compared to my father in terms of going out and chatting online. so yea:) so my blog would probably be dead for a while so this post is to tell everyone:

I'M GOING ON HAITUS.

BYEBYE FOR NOW.

2010-07-31T03:41:00.000-07:00

call me lagger or what so ever but i want to watch inception right now. many people have probably watched it by now but I HAVE NOT! OK!
so i know it's to a person's own preference on how they do want to call their boyfriend and how they want to express their feelings at this age and i completely respect that. so to all who might get offended about my rant, NO OFFENCE, HAH.

so, i was just surfing the internet, looking at some teenagers blogs, which i assume that most of them are dating. i mean after all they do have the
eg.

(L)23o71022

at the side of their blog. but i can't really remember all the numbers because they change every month. except some. i think. well, at least i hope?

so i read some of their post and most would probably tend to write a few lines about their boyfriend at the end of all their post like

eg.

baby i love you, bibi you would always be in my heart, baby you'really all i think about,baby blah blah,

bibi blah blah,

FMLLLLLLLLLLL's girl :)

so, not to critisize in anyway, but just an opinion after reading everything, what's the guy's name again?

i mean don't you think he would feel more of the emotions and stuff like that if he's wonderful name ( unless it's tom, bob, bill etc. i'm sure you know what i mean) was part of the dedication lines? won't it me more significant? won't you feel like you are actually sending the message to him. everyone uses baby, bibi stuff like that but if you actually thought of adding his name i think he/she would has a wider smile. so instead of a :) you get a :D

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

randoms.

the song if i were a boy by beyonce is stuck in my head. well with a bit of a twist to it. to some of my friends who were with me when we made the lyrics and still can't remember what i'm talking about, let me give you a clue.

if i were a boy,

i would wear tight white shorts..

that should probably ring a bell:) if you still can remember, please read the following words below.

YOU ARE RETARDED

so we had the talk today about our choice of subjects, i doubt anyone was actually paying attention, for some reason i couldn't see still, i had the urge to talk, plus sarah was beside me. what could i do? i had to open my mouth in one way or another. HAHA. headed for ballet lesson after that.

wish to type more but my mom's nagging.ao that's all for now.

xoxo

hannah marie xn

2010-07-23T07:00:00.000-07:00

so, how's life?

i want to say this line so badly.
i'd just realised that i had never said this to someone and actually meaning what i say.
cool huh?
try to think about the time where you last said this sentence and actually trying to send the message across to the other party and really meaning it.

HAHAHAHA.

random ass.

anyways, today's training was what i call SUPER DUPER USEFUL. it is definitely worthy enough for it to be in bold and italics.i mean the retarded way of flinging the bat to the fence/net (whatever you call it) is super useful and it really helps in your batting. it helps you to make sure you actually straighten you arms when you bat and not roll you wrist in the process untill the last minute. it helps you to swing the bat effortlessly, and of course, lesser blisters. and as for my catching, its still ... but i won't stop training. never.

well, unless i'm sick of course. or some valid reason. i don't know.( i know this line is a spoiler)

and i went to mc with tissany after training. laughed a lot if i remembered correcly, although i can't really remember why i laughed in the first place.
oh ya, and i was so stinky after training i almost fainted when i attempted to smell my pe shirt after training. body odour or the soil + mud+ sweat? i don't know. but one thing's for sure is that i need a bottle of deodorent.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

and i have a strong urge to buy shoes right now but when i raise the subject to my mom she would always tell my that i have more than enough. but i strongly disagree. i still think that i need two more pairs. flats, i suppose. so tissany, lets go to rubi. HAHA.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. why do i keep having a feeling that my dad is watching my every move? it's making my mind go blank and i can't seem to remember what happen today. i mean after all, I AM SUPPOSE TO BE STUDYING RIGHT NOW AT THIS VERY MOMENT. so yea. so bur bye for now. HAHAHAHAHA.

xoxo

hannah marie xn

2010-07-20T04:33:00.000-07:00

so i shall do a short post before eating my dinner although i'm not actually hungry due to all the "fail sushis" i ate. so tissany, en ling, pei ru and hye in came to my house today to make sushis and brownies. whether it's a success or a failure, we'll see tomorrow. but for now, HAHAHA is all i will say. and somebody please buy some gummy worms to go with the brownies. may sound like a weird combination but trust me, it adds on to the creativity. if there is even marks for it. so when i was about to make the sushi rice, tissany offered her help to me and i gladly agreed. i told her to put 7 1/2 cups of sushi rice into the rice cooker so that i can keep track of how much vinegarto add into the rice. BUTTTTTTTT, she lost count. WOW. hahahhahahhahaha. but we manage to roughly estimate. and there was no baking paper left in my house so we had to let the brownies stick to the tray. i mean we couldn't do anything right? so we scraped out all the brownies. that's why i said gummy worms will work! the soil, the wormss SEE THE PICTURE?hahahahhaha. yeap yeap. hahahhahahahahha. and en ling was making the perfect shaped sushis while tissany was trying to keep up. HAHAHA. well done en ling :) so that's about what happen today. OH YA. i cooked for my kids for the first time. HAHAHA.LOL. LAME. byebye for now!

xoxo

hannah marie xn

2010-07-17T07:05:00.000-07:00

today is the first time that i wore point shoes. man its hard. i have to point 500 time harder just to make my point visable for the human eye. and i didn't cut my toenails so it felt like they were on the verge of breaking. soft leather shoes are way more comfortable. except for the fact that you can't on your toes. the pointe shoes were sooo hard. my feet felt so restricted. i felt like i saw the light at the end of the tunnel when i took them off. i could hear sarah's voice going hallelujah~~ and i just realise how much i love bubbles tea today. it's like the best drink ever. whoever created it is definitely one genius ass. i can never fail to buy a cup everyday. everthing is nice but the ice blend. HAHA. i hate the chunky-icy feeling in my mouth. but the red tea, milk tea, snowshakes just tops it all. AWESOMENESS. i probably won't be able to survive without them . i drink cups of it like how teenagers eat their mc donalds. every single day. and pearls. OMG THE PEARLS. are the perfectionist. so chewy and yummy. it adds on to the finishing touches of the drink. and i wonder how almosts every friend i know eats mc donalds everyday. you rock. i ate it 5 times in a row and felt like puking when i decided to have it again on the sixth day. especially the mc spicy. i'll just vomit at the sight of it. well. that's what i always eat when i go there. although i rarely finish everything cuz it is wayyyyyyyyyyyyy too much. but i usually become a glutton when i'm hungry. so its kinda all about food today. HAHA. oh well. nobody can live without food right? and food is awesome. eating is one of the happiest thing you can ever do. well, for me at least. i'm hungry now. HAHA. shall go grab something to eat. blog again tomorrow!

xoxo

hannah marie xn

2010-07-16T00:52:00.000-07:00

so i finally remembered to bring my science file to school today. BUT I FORGOT TO GIVE IT TO MDM FARIDAH T.T how forgetful can i be? i can even forget to eat my dinner. something is seriously wrong with me. HAHA. moving on, i was looking at some of the softballers dead blogs.the last post was about SRC i think. everyone used to be so enthusiastic man. i wonder if we would even play SRC next year. okay, shall not feel sad anymore. nothing much reakky happen in school today, except that there was a small commotion regarding some stuff. hope everything will be back to normal on monday. hope that both parties are willing to apologize to each other and move on. and ray william johnson rocks. HAHAHAHHAHA. go to youtube and check him out. so i was suppose to go to bishan library to study today but my study partner told me she was busy at the last minute-.- so i shall do art later:) have 16 sketches to do , GOSH. have already done 1. hahaha. GREAT JOB HANNAH. i think i would be focusing on eyes for surrealism. it will probably be the vocal point of all my art pieces.just have to come out with more interesting designs. have to think out of the box:)) fantasy and dreamland.. i love this year's theme. :)) shall get to work after i'm done with facebook. :D that's all for now:)) might update later. and i decided to choose a blackberry over an iphone. HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA.

xoxo,

hannah marie xn

2010-07-14T06:22:00.000-07:00

so i was suppose to meet up with tissany and co. today but i forgot. oops . so sorry. but i will do my part :) so i went to school today.. did nothig much i guess. chemistry was fine.. math was fine.. chinese was fine.. anything else? for some reason i'm dreading training tomorrow. really have no mood for training these few days. i feel that i'm training, but i'm not improving. and i really hate it. the only things i get after training is toasted skin. i get tanner and tanner everyday. training is intense, hard... and i'm still weak. no strength. it drains my energy . all of it. i really don't know what to think and what to do. i don't want to quit. definitely not. but i don't wish for softball to become a burden to me. i want t enjoy every second of it. be it circuit or weights, i want to enjoy everything. i don't want the word "hate" to exsist in my dictionary.i really hope to be more enthusiastic. it's beneficial after all:)

as for academic, i've planned it out already. now it's just about doing it. really hope i don't get distracted from other stuff. and CHINESE. PLEASE CHINESE. pass for once-.- just pass man. 50. that's all i'm asking for.

staying single is awesome. but i have 5 children so it's kinda weird. HAHA. all my berries. study hard and play hard! excel in your academics and CCAs.:) let's go to the same class next year! :) well at least all of you:) i'll be happy for all of you:)stay happy.and jia yo with your love life XD

XOXO,

hannah marie xn

2010-07-13T06:52:00.000-07:00

so nothing much happen today, except for the fact that miss goh was overly radiant today as she just got back from her honeymoon. so got relatively easy math homework. some true or false worksheet:) haha. on the topic of probability if it's even a topic. and as for chinese class, i didn't bring my textbook for some reason. but i so remembered i placed it into my bag. don't know what's wrong with my memory these days. and to summarise today's training with one word: TIRING. man, it was super duper tiring. coach just love to see us suffer. LOL. every training is getting more and more intense. and my catching sucks. it really does. i couldn't catch almost everything. wtf is wrong with me. i did nothing wrong. why do i have to be so lousy in my catching. everything is slowly improving and a really slow rate but there does not seem to be any improvement shown in my catching. how am i going to play b division at this rate. so little months left to train. and exams are on the way as well. so many things to do , so little time. everyone is getting way better but i'm still at the starting point. someone please guide me to finishing the race. i need to train really hard, and at the same time study really har and excel in my studies. i don't want any regrets due to failures. i don't want both to be dragging each other down. i don't want to blame any of it.i want to do well in both. NO REGRETS. both are important. softball will definitly take me further if i excel in it. and what cn i say about academics? everyone needs it to excel in life. LOL. anyway moving on, had a freaking hilarious time with tissany, andrea and wen ching at the bustop. everyone was laughing their heads off:)HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA. some words to describe it? my first kiss when a little like this! *kiss* and twist. LOL. nevermind. hahaha. just being retarded. and all softballers please don't quit! we have stayed strong and united as a team for about a year and a half now, please don't let all our hard work that we , as a team have endured go to waste! i believe we can do way better next year. i believe with time management, we can excel in both academics and CCA. and training is only twice a week! we have a remaining 5 days to study. it's only during the tournament that we train everyday! so please! don't give up! let's aim higher for next year!

2010-07-11T05:44:00.000-07:00

okay,
i'm having serious problems understanding the pyramids and cones. volumes's fine but surface area is just !@#$%^!@#$%^%$ so yea:) and i'm having a math test tomorrow. wish me good luck:)i shall find s solution before going to school tomorrow:) aren't i hardworking:) okay my hair is super frizzy , spoiled and long. need a whole new haircut:) wonder whether i should just snip off everything and have a short cut:) easy to maintain and upkeep:)right now i look so ugly and shag when i put down my hair. my mom says that i look like a ghost with my hair down. and i need to do treatment and buy hair cocktail.$$$$$$$$ is what i need right now:) since we have no continuous assesment 2 unlike other schools, i shall use this opportunity to do these kinda stuff:)oh ya , have some people asking me about my name. so i'll type it down:)

ENGLISH NAME: HANNAH MARIE DHARMAPALAN
CHINESE NAME: XIA NA

mix, stirl, mix, mix, stirl ,BAM!

2010-07-10T00:41:00.000-07:00

heyhey:)
so, i wanted to do a long post yesterday,
but my parents came home way earlier than i expected:)
so i went to the science centre yesterday , along with my fellow friends and schoolmates.
it was kinda boring.. but what can i expect? its the SCIENCE CENTRE after all.
vinegar stinks by the way.
just remembered.
and so does durians.
:)
so we had had a little show done for us. whether it is specially for us, i dont know. and for some reason when they said the word cannon, the only thing i could think of doing was "hannah, its time to stuff your finger into your ear" and I DID:) surprisingly, sarah an tissany who were sitting beside me followed me and did the same thing. i didn't know i was so great to the extend where people started following my examples:) thanks gals. im honoured. LOL.
and i didn't know albert einstein looked exactly like an ape. so awesome. the genius has an ape face. whoo hoo.
and somehow the two speakers were trying to put each other down? they were being so sarcastic to each other everyone could tell.they looked like they were going to bash each other up after the show.

went to serangoon mac with sarah after that,
charmaine joined after a while.
then sarah had to leave at 6.30
and i left at 7:)

i need motivation to studyy.
i can't seem to concentrate.
somebody please become my study buddy.
help me focus:)

that's all for today:)
hope my next post won't be in a month time!
xoxo

2010-07-09T05:53:00.001-07:00

OKAY. so i shall do a quick post before my parents come home.
okay
. THEIR HOME.
GREAT.
JUST IN TIME.
BYEBYE.

2010-07-04T23:25:00.000-07:00

days have past.
months have past.
you're still in my head.
memories of you just keeps running through my head,
and i can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.
every memory just keeps bouncing back from every dead end.
it's never ending.
i can't stop.
i'm leaving in a fantasy world.
with the most scary imaginations.
i really hope that you would be erased from my memory,
FOR GOOD.
it's about time i move on.
or maybe i should have done this long time ago.
i hope all these memories will find its way out of the over complicated maze in my head.
it's time to disappear.
it's time to vanish.

2010-07-04T02:12:00.000-07:00

sometimes i really wonder.. am i really following my friends?
is this subject combination what i really want?
is it going to be a bonus or burden to me?
biology is what i excel in and what i do best among the three sciences.
for now.
and i don't really like physics.
so,
taking pure physics isn't really going to benifit me much if i don't like it right?
i hope i take something that i will never regret.
after all, i intend to go to junior college.
can't let my choice of subjects hinder whatever i wish to do in the future.
maybe i'm thinking a little way too far,
or planning way ahead.
LOL.
i just hope i get whatever i want.
going to a jc that has softball.
play softball in my jc years.
then move on with life with whatever i'll be doing in the furture.
:)
but first,
i shall clear my streaming.
:D
hahahahhahahhahaha.
hope i do well XD
jia yo jia yo!!

2010-06-24T21:29:00.000-07:00

2010-06-24T06:44:00.000-07:00

Sit on the bed , staring at the phone.

2010-06-14T03:21:00.000-07:00

BOREDOM.
my phone used keeps me entertained.
but not anymore.
not recently at least.
the holidays are shorter as the days pass but i still haven't done anything meaningful.
no movies.
no shopping.
no hanging out.
no smsing.
to summarize,
im doing NOTHING.
apart from eating non stop.
this holiday is so insignificant.
i feel like ranting on something but there's nothing that comes to my head.
no lited light bulb.
:(
give me a call anyone if you have nothing to do.
i'm sure i'll be more than willing to talk to you :D

2010-06-12T07:44:00.001-07:00

hmm.
many people have different views for plus-sized people.
so i shall type my view down.
obesity and muscular people are completely different.
in terms of built , in terms of health wise musculas people definitely wins.
i mean everyone is calling muscular people fat and its giving them low self esteem.
NOT GOOD.
when they have the miscoception that they are fat, they would start to exercise a lot more.
causing their muscles to develop even further, resulting in greater weight gain.
which will also lead to them thinking that exercise doesn't help at all.
now, this will lead to them skipping meals to lose weight.
for people that are trying to lose weight, this is not the correct way at all.
note: when you skip meals, you would then to crave for unhealthy food like mac and stuff like that. and you would gorge on it. which will eventually make you gain tonnes of weight :D
so all muscular people out there. YOU ARE SO NOT FAT.
and fat people. EXERCISE.
some people are also born with big bones but usually these kind of people look rather silm and healthy. its just that when they stand on the weighing scale it tells a different story. but in my opinon you weight doesn't really matter. you can be 100kg and look silm. i mean if that's the case its really your built! you are born that way :D accept it :D you can't reduce your bone mass no matter how much you try. its just there:D UNLESS
YOU ARE REALLY PLUM.
OH COME ON I'M SURE YOU CAN TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PLUM AND MUSCLES RIGHT. IF YOU HAVE FATS AND YOU KNOW IT, LET'S FACE IT :D
maybe you can start by reducing the intake of oily and fried food. well basically unhealthy food like mac and stuff like that. i know it's not easy especially when you're out with your friends. my advice is to eat at home before you leave the house:D unless you people want to pack a lunch box which is sooooooooooooo troublesome. and maybe you can join a sports cca :D (SOFTBALL) hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe.
or jog twice a week:D ( i think the first choice is better)
i wish i could blog more but SIS is beside me-.-
byebye for now:D

LOVE MY ASS.

2010-06-12T03:13:00.000-07:00

TRUE LOVE.
true love is like a ghost. many talk about it , but few has seen or experience it.
so i believe you are not one of the few :D
because 1 in 1000 guys are not idiots and players :D
bless those people.
LOL.
so girls are always victims i suppose.
unless you're an exception where you go aroung hunting for boys.
and dumping them later on.
then , you are not that different either.
seriously, if you know that its not going to last long, then DON'T GO STEADY!
that person, you should know it by now that im referring to you.
i mean you're being mean to the guy now you know!!
i know guys are kinda fishers at time.
no, correction,
all the time.
but still this is not the way man.
whatever reason it is, you're acting like some deseperate crap right now.
fancy changing boyfriends like changing clothes -.-
not really changing boyfriends,
changing your targets.
changing the people you like in a split second.
the kind of impression you're giving everyone isn't that nice you know.
anyways i doubt relationships will last very long in sec school.
im not against it of course.
but the point is,
you have to be sure you can be commited .
don't just go around saying yes my dear.
be sure of what you want.
that's all.

2010-06-09T20:47:00.000-07:00

okay, i'm getting a little bored blogging.

i've a feeling is going to be dead soon.

i wonder how people keep their blog so alive.

okay.

so i got pranked called so early in the morning from i don't know who.

you had to prank me in the morning-.-

i was still counting sheeps in my sleep and because of you, i lost count.

now, i can't get back to sleep.

still so tired.

so i turned on the tv right after brushing my teeth and watch ellen degeneres.

she is so hilarious.

LOL.

she has this part of her show where she calls it

"what's wrong with this photos?" photos

SUPER FUNNY.

everyone should go check it out.

goo youtube or something.

HEHEHEHEHEHE.

my sis had to use the computer now-.-

shall continue blogging later.

bbyebyebybeye!!!

2010-06-06T23:35:00.000-07:00

bored stiff.

even starring at the blank wall seems so amusing now.

everyone's busy with their holiday activities.

except me.

LOL.

well i can't blame myself for rejected their offer when they ask me out.

i'm saving money for the great singapore sale.

LOL.

but not even a single text.

except two.

one regarding the softball training,

the other regarding student council mass meeting.

both messages do not require me to reply at all.

sianz.

oh well.

i guess my phone bill won't be so high this june after all :D

and tissany,

im not in love.

LOL.

i just .. i don't know.

anyways i can't stand his BHBness.

so oh well.

maybe that's his imperfection i guess.

!@$%&*()&^%$#!

SHALL NOT LET HIM SPOIL MY DAY.

HEHEHEHEHE.

so ,

moving on,

my mom was suppose to cook us a wonderful lunch today.:D

SUPPOSE TO.

so obviously,

she had to buy some groceries and necessities for the meal she was about to prepare.

HOWEVER,

the moment she opened the wooden door,

my neighbour had to do the same and open her door at the same time -.-

they chatted and chatted and chatted.

until lunch time-.-

so instead of my yummy lunch,

i had instant noodles -.-

HEHEHEHEHE.VERY FUNNAYY.

my mom gave me that kinda look.

and i gave her this

-.-

so i just finished my lunch, might blog some more later on at night :D

there's nothing to rant about...

any videos?? recommend me :D

ohhhhh yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

tissany showed my this laughing video.

super duper retarded.

the caucassion guy laughed like this:

HEH, HEH HEH HEH, HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH . HUUU HUU HUUUH HEH HEH HEH.

and the lady laughed like this

HAAAAAHAAAAAAHAAAAAA *SNORTS* HAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAA HAAAAA *SNORTS*

damn stupid.

what's with people's laughter nowadays.

i mean just look that their faces.

they seem decent,

look presentable.

but their laughter is a killer.

and their decent faces become so constipated .

i always thought tissany's laughter was the one.

i guess not.

after looking at that video i thought,

tissany! you're laughter is actually kinda gentle and sweet!

HEHEHEHE.

my laughter ain't that nice as well .

LOL.

but i think its not that bad to that extend.

tissany's laughter is contages.

so everyone,

BE CAREFUL.

lol.

that's about it:D

burr byess:D

special someone.

2010-06-06T00:25:00.000-07:00

i've realized so many things today.
i've heard many things about you.negative things.
somehow they do seem true.
but,
it doesn't seem to matter to me.
you are overly lame,
lame and lame.
and i heard you're a bitch.
but still,
they don't matter to me.
i still think you're relatively okay.
LOL.
i can't remember how you look like in person,
i can't remember how you sound like.
but i can remember what i last said to you.
it's quite stupid for you to think of me that way.
and yes, i'm quite pissed about it.
but ,
i still think you're pretty cute,
and pretty sweet.
but i did say in one of my post previously,
i can't always get what i want.
sometime i have to let go.
so as for this,
i've already let it go for quite a while already.
but,
i haven't really changed the way i think about you yet.
you're still someone special.
:D

2010-06-05T08:48:00.000-07:00

okay i'm back.
HEHE.
thank you tissany for being a loyal reader :D
maybe because my blog used to be dead,
so no one's reading it now.
lol.
but its kinda better cuz i can write exactly how i feel:D
okay, so i became friends with someone different,
way more mature than some other peep-.-
and it's a little weird.
cuz i don't even know how that somone's face look like-.-
oh well,
shall not talk about that person.
know a little more first.
HEHE.
so woke up at 5 today and went to the bustop near ching's house to take bus with her.
reached there, saw tissany waving with her puny eyes :D
then went and sit down with her.
super funny.
first time see her eyes reduce to 1/3 of the actual size.
HEHEHEHEHE.
anyways,
we had to collect donations today for st andrews cathedral.
walking aound with empty tins, asking for donations while trying to look as pityful as possible.
LOL.
and now.
complains.
seriously, this is what you call typical singaporean.
*walking towards the chinese man*
"would you like to make a donation? its for st andrews cathedral."
*stretches his hand at my face level at a one meter distance and places his hand down after leaving the area.*
i mean seriously,
i don't speak hand.
you can just look at me and tell me decently
"no i don't want to."
or the least you can do is just shake you head.
what's with the handzz manzzzz.
situation no. 2
*walk towards a middle aged lady*
"would you like to make a donation? its for st andrews cathedral."
lady:
"wow. really meaningful.you guys are doing a really great job . keep up the good work :D by the way where is the church? i would really like to see the organisation. *talks a lot more*"
*middle age lday reaches out for her gucci purse. drops in 5 cents."
my jaw literally dropped.
i talked to you for 10 min and i get 5 cent?
come on! where's the justice.
it's not even a silver coin-.-
10 cents won't hurt right?
LOL.
at least it sounds better than 5 -.-
i was wrecking my brains on what to reply you next you know.
cuz you were asking questions about the organisation.
when i'm just a VOLUNTEER??
-.-
and 5 cents was all that was worth my talking.
pwned.

that's about it.
:D

2010-06-03T20:26:00.000-07:00

okay.. im officially rotting at home right now.
i wanna keep myself busy..
but there's seriously nothing to do..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOCELYN BY THE WAYS!
SORRY I COUIDN'T CELEBRATE WITH YOU.
yea so i was suppose to go out today,
but my mom refuse to let me leave the house-.-
oh well.
seriously i'd rather sell brownies right now.
better than staying at home,
gaining tonnes of weight.
my tummy is going to be some blob of fats soon..
the training helps but its only thrice a week..
the rest of the days i'm at home ,
eating,eating and eating.
i lost weight during the tournament season.
i'm sure everyone did.
but i'm gaining everything back...
and i don't want to joggggggggggggggggggggg
so tiring.
oh ya,
so i was looking at the preview of karate kid and i found something so weird..
why is the show called karate kid when their doing kung fu?
i mean karate is different from kung fu right?
correct me if i am wrong.
why was jackie teaching him kung fu.
the show should be called kung fu kid or something.
yea so that's strange.....
and the music video of when i look at you by miley cyrus,
all her dresses in the mv were so nice ...
i feel like typing more cuz i have nth to do but,
there's nothing.
so i shall end with some lines.

there are things that we don't want to happen
but we have to accept.
there are things that we don't want to know
but we have to learn.
and people we can't live without
but we have to let go.

2010-06-03T07:51:00.000-07:00

another day has passed.
another day wasted.
starting to have the slight feeling
that people are disliking me now.
talking behind my back.
making me feel like some idiot.
because i'm not doing anything about it.
just letting them
mock and mock and mock me.
wonder what's going on.
there is this friend problem going on almost everyday.
there's always someone pissed off with someone.
there's not a single day of peace and quiet among friends.
why?
way too many misunderstandings.
and usually when they are cleared,
some stains are left behind.
the situation would be brought up again.
i mean,
people make mistakes right?
nobody's perfect.
so just let go and move on!
the past never fails to affect the future.
so i think we have to put an end to it.

2010-06-02T20:46:00.000-07:00

i like typing in the middle. :D
i think it's cool.
LOL
anyways,
i woke up at 10 o'clock today.
well, technically i woke up at 8, but i couldn't get out of bed.
my butt is still hurting from the previous training.
and there's training again later on...
more circuits.
i hope i don't die.
but frankly speaking, the warm-ups are way more tiring than the actual training that we do.
fielding and batting is way better.
it doesn't cause your butt to hurt-.-
and there's a sense of achievement when you field or bat nicely.
LOL.
but for circuits,
not matter how well you do them,
their just,
CIRCUITS.
yea so, anyways,
i've finished the first two revisions for math :D
i hope i can finish the next two by today.
mug- mug - mug
HEHE.
so after living in this world for 14 years and 2 months,
i've finally realize that i can't study with my phone beside me:D
so i took out the battery in my phone when i was studying yesterday.
well, some may know that i still wait for messages to appear in my phone.
so i tend to carry my phone wherever i go and stare at the screen.
but usually nothing appears.
the dumb thing is that i still wait-.-
yea.
and i don't really like so start conversation,
cuz i'll think that i'm bothering the person.
which may lead to the person finding me soo irritating.
i'd rather someone sms me when he/she is free.
if not,
most of the time i'll assume you're busy.
or,
you don't want to talk to me anymore.
yea so back to what i was saying,
i think i would take out my battery whenever i'm studying.
well,
at least i hope i'll do it.
hehe.
most "friends" probably think i'm some dumb sugar honey ice tea now,
because of my mid year results..
so much for friends.
all of you look down on me.
find me stupid.
the stupid person in the click.
seriously,
"hannah is dumb"
is written all over all of your freaking faces.
it's also obvious that you people talk about it when i'm not around.
you people may be doing well in your result right now,
but,
all of your character sucks.
all of you only think about yourself.
okay fine,
shall not say anymore,
or people will think i'm jealous or something.
that's about it for now :D

i'm hating you with a PASSION.

2010-06-02T07:09:00.000-07:00

i can't seem to focus in whatever i'm doing.
there are so many things in my head.
my mind is in a whirlpool.
no motivation to study.
to do anything.
all that's in my head are all big dreams.
but,
i'm no where near them.
and these big dreams,
they are not taking me anywhere.
i'd be lying if i said i knew what i was doing.
what's wrong hannah?
what's wrong with me?
way to many things in my head.
i can't do anything properly at this rate,
somebody please give me advice.
i can't focus anymore.

the start of the new month.

2010-05-31T20:27:00.000-07:00

i shall blog a little before going for training.
well i know my blog is kinda boring. (no pics) so sry :D
still not going to put up any pictures.
to lazy and can't be bothered.
so i forced myself out of my beautiful and most comfortable bed i've been sleeping on for the past 10 hours with my blanking tagging along. (part of it was stuck in my pocket)
went to the toilet , brushed my teeth ,bathe and whatever that normal people do in the toilet.

skipped breakfast because i wasn't hungry at all and started looking for my long socks

STUPID LONNGGG ASS SOCKS

where on earth did you go to????? still can't find it until now... i ransacked my entire closet just to find that two freaking socks, but still....... EFF. so anyways, i hope a kind soul wouldn't mind lending me theirs just for today because i gave up trying to find them already. well, i guess that was how i let half the day pass by :D not really that meaningful but oh well. still have to study later. !@#$%^&*()_)(*&^%$@

hmm. you probably think i'm psychotic right now.
but oh well.
i still have the urge to talk to you.
but im still hanging in there.
i shall not harbor any hopes on this.

but there's something i know clearly and well.
i want to see you.

first day of holiday

2010-05-31T04:47:00.000-07:00

so today .. the 31 of may, well, you can consider the it the official start of this horrible holiday.
my gosh it's a nightmare..
really really lucky to have softball training.
so anyways , i am being made to study my parents, obviously because i freaking did not do well in my mid years.. almost as good as last in class. i only had 1 A1 and it was for geo.
my parents are mad with me for getting so low for chinese and math.. and as for art, they are just pissed of because i didn't submit my assignments which lead to another red mark in my report book. i got a C for math , like wtf? my math sucks like crap. seriously have a lot of bucking up to do. and as for class position and level position i'm not gonna talk about it... way too embarrassing . even i myself got a shock when i saw my level position . WTF . that was all that was in my head. so, my parents are angry at me now because i didn't study at all. so you can say that im officially made to stay home everyday during the holidays(apart from training) to bury my head into my books .. oh well. i guess i deserve it. i'll try to do as much catching up as possible. in the mean time, before i produce my next set of results in the final year exam, i shall make do with my parents nagging. some people are like "HAHA, IN YOUR FACE" lol. so this is going to be one of the not so nice holidays that i'll have. :D (shall put a smiley to comfort myself:D)

still waiting until today ... when is this going to end?

2010-05-23T01:31:00.000-07:00

WHERE'S THE LIFE MAN.
today sucks like crap larhxx

2010-04-23T07:29:00.000-07:00

hello everyone..
haven't blog for long ages...
just have nth better to do now.
nobody's online...
well, at least the people that i want to talk to are not online...
can't wait to get my SIM card.
my fingers are so itchy!!!! needa sms peeps.
should be getting tomorrow so for some reason i'm excited.
my father has been dragging this for one week!!!!
there are so many things that i wanna tell you,
so many things that i wanna say...
but i can't sms now T.T
i hope we're still friends XD
that's about it:D
my next post would probably in a month time or something.
i'll do my best to update it as soon as possible :d

gd nights and sweet dreams :*

hannah

saturday's life

2010-03-06T02:08:00.000-08:00

hello =)
okay, i decided to blog as many times as possible.
so today i woke up at about 11, had brunch and left for ballet lesson.
after that, i went to a shopping mall as i had to get a new pair of black heels for my cousin's wedding. there were so many! impossible to find one and not regret it later. so i decided to go home first and go back again tomorrow. so , instead of buying shoes, i decided to go to THE FACESHOP to buy some skin care products. i bought the usuals a cleanser, toner and moisturizer. went home , watch tv until now. that's all =)

i wonder how long i have to keep it to myself ....

i can survive without someone like you.

2010-02-09T03:18:00.000-08:00

okay so today was one of the worst softball training .
everyone was so emo.
no one was even concentrating , including me of course. as i said, EVERYONE.
check it in the dictionary if you can't seem to decipher the word or do not understand the meaning.
anyway, there is a small conflict which has not been resolve up till now, so oh well . that's all i can say. i mean, both parties feel that they are in the right, no one refuse to say something. nothing is resolve. all i can say is that i will not give up now. i have tolerated enough as far as i'm concern compared to the other party. the other party will not feel anything, because she has loads of friends, one less doesn't matter unless it was someone important. but in my opinion, she just treats me like a piece of tissue paper. no someone important, not someone worth caring for. i do not wish to be at her feet all the time.sure, i admit i may be a little argumentative at times but as a friend, you should know my character. we have been friends for quite a while now so im sure you know this is part of me. so if you are piss of at me because of my character then you shoulg just tell me in my face to stop it. because i can go overboard at times. instead of just being emo in front of me and speaking ill of me behind my back. don't denied this fact. i know you speak ill of me. i have heard it and i trust my ears.all i can say is that you might have given me many chances for the mistakes i have made but i too have tolerated you enough. and i am officially on my own without anyone on my side. you have loads of friends that will follow you but sadly im not someone like you who have many friends. however, until this situation is over, i will be on my own.i am not going to give in as i feel that what i feel is right.

CAMPWHOOOHOO

2010-01-30T05:20:00.000-08:00

hello =)

so today was a super tiring day ... didn't sleep yesterday at all!
the camp was really good overall, really got to bond with tissany, sarah, peiru, phyllis, charmaine and celia. well at least I thought it was alright. we had the movie marathon but unfortunately didn't manage to watch everything. everyone became tired and hid the sack. but i didn't sleep at all. the floor was so hard and it was so hard to turn.however , during the camp, i manage to communicate with my peers better. so i really thought this camp was really beneficial. well FOR ME at least.
so went to ballet lesson today, couldn't really dance at all because i was to tired. went home, at hit the sack straight away. and now , i'm blogging. thats all =)

lots of love,
hannah

first week of 2010

2010-01-09T02:16:00.000-08:00

hello everyone :D
its been ages since i last update my blog . it was either i forgot to update my blog or my parents didn't allow me to use the computer T.T technically the put a password for the computer so i had to ask their permission before i could use the computer . i know... it sucks . and there is tonnes of homework this week ... i have not even started . so much to do ! to make it worst , its chinese homework .. how on earth am i suppose to write a 500 word chinese essay on how was my week ??! its impossible . i can barely write 300 words .. and then there is chinese spelling . i can cope with that i think . so about the essay i don't know what to do , but other than that , the first week of school for this year is pretty much okay . as far as i'm concern . as for softball training , i think it's starting to get even better and more fun . instead of dreading it like i used to last year , im starting to look forward to it every single day . i just hope i will be able to manage my time well . i think that's about it . =)

hannah.

2009-08-23T02:34:00.000-07:00

2009-08-03T07:16:00.000-07:00

hiee everyone!
okay so today it was PE the first period and i had to do my 2.4km run AGAIN! i have failed three times already ! when am i ever going to pass ? well technically i gave up halfway during the run as it was obvious that i would still fail if i had continue running.and besides, my right leg was hurting so badly. and it was english next. i didn't finish my summary homework so i started working on it the moment i came back to class. so YAY i escaped punishment.during recess i drank milo and ate two somthing (i forgot what it was called)then sarah brought this korean snack to school and gave me a small piece of it.it was really tasty!it was green tea flavour if im not wrong but it tasted like a mixture of green tea and red bean.YUM YUM!during geography lesson it was all boring soo i wong say anything about it.we made sponge cake for home economics today. it was super fun! im glad me and chi yuan's sponge cake turned out al well.=)
then in the afternoon i met up with julia for lunch.then sarah WONG called me and told me she needed 10 bucks urgently. i met up with her at serangoon station and i asked her why was she so desprate for money and she told me she found something nice on a blog shop and she needed money to buy it... i gave her that cocked up face.she told me to go all the way there just to give her money to buy things which can wait...but im so angry.. i mean after all i did borrow her money...then we went to mc donalds for dinner then i went home.

okay thats about it!
byebye!

2009-07-26T06:37:00.000-07:00

hello everyone! update =)

almost eveyrone has been pestering me to update lol.
so i think my old blogskin was a bit too colourful so i decided to go for simplicity..
hmm...i couldn't think of anyone else to link so did i miss anyone?
if yes please tell me =)
so okay...i dun really knoew how to do the graph homework..i like totally screwed up..
oh ya and sarah she did the video thing last friday it was so much fun!
i didn't know talkig to a camera was so amusing...HAHA
ya...everyone should try...just imagine the camera is your friend....and for saurday..i stayed home doing my art homework and i realized i did it wrongly.. sadd
and i went to church today...and THE PICTURE! I KNOW THAT PICTURE IN MY BLOG IS WEIRD! ITS NOT ME! DONT GET IT WRONG! I JUST CANT FIND A NICE PICTURE OF MYSELF YET SOO YA...THAT PICTURE CAME WITH THE BLOG SOOO...ITS NOT ME!
so ya..that's about it?
BYEBYEBYEBYEBYEBYEBYEBYEBYBEYBEYEBYE

loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
hannaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

2009-04-25T07:34:00.000-07:00

oksy today its was so !%$#@!~ hot.
like seriously i had to bathe one thousand times
i didn't go anywhere .... so i stayed at home to watch tv and use the computer ...
and a new change of skin ! i wanted somthing pure white but i counldn't find anything ... so if u guys find any plain skins please give me the details .

and thats all =)

love

hannahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

2009-04-19T06:46:00.000-07:00

didn't go to church today .. and it was so hot today ..
so heaty

so humid

i want to go back to canada

just to experience winter again and come back ..

okay anyway i stayed home and did nth for the whole day.

just watch TV

every single programme available ..

and did nth else =)

thats all byebyes

2009-04-17T07:15:00.000-07:00

today i had this math test and it was really difficult . couldn't really manage to do any of the questions.so there is high chance that im going to fail it. but who cares. i tried my best . then when it was around 2.30pm i had softball training until six. it was so tiring ! as i am the catcher i had to stay in that same old squating position and it cause my hold leg to sore. but im sure i will get use to it one day. lol.

that all .

p.s. u may not like to read my post as i am a boring person.

loves

hannahhh